"Black Friday"

Across the country, Black Friday marks the beginning of the Christmas shopping season. The Friday after Thanksgiving is called “Black Friday” because, in the past, it was said this is the day businesses would start to turn a profit for the year, going from being in the “red” on their ledger to being in the “black.” While Black Friday has a positive connotation, the same label has been applied to other days that are very negative. The day the stock market crashed in 1929, beginning the Great Depression, was called “Black Thursday.” In 1987 there was “Black Monday” when the stock market crashed lower in a single day than ever before. Whether used as a positive label or negative label, a day being called “black” represents an abrupt change from how things were yesterday to how they are today.

Men seeking recovery from sexual addiction may regard the day their spouse or significant other found out about their secret as “black.” Also known as "Discovery Day” or “D-Day” this is the day their life, their wife's life, and their family’s life changed forever. It is a day of deep pain, profound sorrow, racked with guilt and shame. It feels bleak, desperate, and hopeless; but, it is not the end. In the minutes, hours, days, weeks, and months after, it feels almost impossible to see how all of the hurt and destruction could ever be reconciled; however, that first “black” day, Discovery Day, is day one on the road to healing.

When all feels lost and the future appears to be a black hole of guilt and pain, the encouragement of someone who has walked the road of recovery before you, a sponsor, is a cooling salve for the hurt and a light guiding the path forward. Sponsors help to provide hope for the future by sharing the healing they have experienced, offering mentorship through difficult experiences, and giving support to keep being honest when continuing to hide feels like the easier path. When you are stuck, a call to your sponsor can be exactly what you need to get unstuck because they have been where you are, they know how you feel, and they have learned through their own journey what works and what does not.

Discovery Day, the “black” day, feels like being thrown out into the dark alone. The truth is, you are not alone and you do not have to stay in the void by yourself to stumble and fall away. A sponsor, working one-on-one with a recovery coach, and being part of a recovery group with others who struggle are the firelight that will help you find your way in the pitch black of the early days of your recovery journey. If you have had your own “black” day or you are ready to step out of the shadows and bring your secret struggle with sexual addiction into the light, you do not have to do it alone. I encourage you to reach out and experience the relief of knowing you are not on your own. You can start by scheduling a free consultation to determine if my recovery process is right for you.