Change Your Story

You are reading this and may be at the point where you are almost ready to bring your secret struggle with sexual addiction out into the light. You are tired of living a double life, constantly hiding, lying, sneaking around, and avoiding your wife for fear of being found out; but there is one thing holding you back. You are afraid of what people will think of you because you have been struggling with sexual sin. If you confess, there will be a humiliating “record” of the wrong you have done and you will never be able to live it down.

Walking my own journey of recovery from pornography addiction, I understand this fear. No one wants to wear the label “porn guy.” I hid for decades afraid of a whole host of things, one of which was being affixed with such a label. Through the work I did in my own recovery, I learned that this fear is based on a lie. The truth is, the person who judges you the harshest is yourself. In our shame, guilt, and delusion, we convince ourselves that we are some “special case” and that our secret is too dark, we are too far gone, and we are beyond help. We conclude that since we judge ourselves without mercy, none will be shown to us by anyone and our “reputation” will follow us around for life.

I am reminded of the life of King David recounted throughout several books of the Old Testament in the Bible. David is regarded as one of the greatest kings in Biblical history; however, his story is far from being “squeaky clean.” He commits adultery with a woman named Bathsheba and when her actual husband refuses to help David with his plot to cover up their illegitimate child, David has him murdered by sending him to the front lines of battle to be killed in action. Unlike our struggles with sexual sin, David’s sins of adultery and murder were recorded in the Bible and have been told and retold for more than 3,000 years.

David’s story does not end with his moral failure. He is later confronted with his sin by a man named Nathan and ultimately repents before God and is forgiven. What we are left with then, is a story of God’s mercy and forgiveness that has endured for more than three millennia. David was not some “special” case who did something so dark and sinful that he was too far gone or beyond help. He did, however, have to take action and do something to be forgiven and healed. David had to bring his sin into the light by taking ownership of it to Nathan and confessing it to God.

As a result of David’s obedience to God, he is not remembered as the “adultery and murder guy.” His sin and moral failure do not define his legacy. It is instead defined by God’s grace and mercy. Just like King David’s, your story does not have to be defined by your secret struggle with sexual sin. You too can have healing and restoration if you are willing to be obedient to God by being honest about what you have been hiding, taking ownership of it, and seeking help and forgiveness.

David did not do it alone, he was guided down the right path by Nathan. You do not have to do it alone either. There is help available if you are willing to reach out for it. If you are ready to start your own journey toward forgiveness, healing, and restoration I would love to connect with you and hear more about your story. We can discuss how I can walk alongside you as you rewrite the ending to your story.