Perseverance Without Suffering

The truth is, perseverance without suffering is impossible. The Merriam-Webster dictionary defines perseverance as, “continued effort to do or achieve something despite difficulties, failure, or opposition.” Facing and overcoming challenges is a requirement for perseverance; however, many of us go to great lengths to avoid the discomfort of adversity. As a result, when confronted with a tough life circumstance, we have nothing to steady us and strengthen us, so we default to our practiced behavior of avoidance.

When I was stuck in the darkness of pornography addiction, avoidance was my go-to way of handling any and every difficult or uncomfortable situation. As soon as life got tough, I ran away and hid. I did not recognize it at the time because I was blind to my defects of character when I was active in my addiction, but this pattern really made me feel bad about myself. Once I was sober and had the clarity of mind to unpack the things about myself that kept me stuck in addiction, I realized I had no self confidence, I lacked character, and I had no hope. I remember telling a guy in my recovery group “I have quit everything I ever started.”

I felt this way because I lacked all of the ingredients that are essential to having character and hope because I actively ran away from any form of suffering. The Bible lists these ingredients in Romans 5:3-4 (NIV), “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” If we are really being honest with ourselves, we want to have perseverance, character, and hope without suffering because suffering hurts! I stayed stuck in my addiction for so long because I did not want to take the difficult and painful steps required to build character, have hope, and experience freedom.

I prayed for The Lord to miraculously heal me of my addiction, something I truly believed He was capable of; however, God had a different plan for me. If my addiction had been miraculously taken away, I would have never faced my failure. I would have, yet again, avoided any difficulties caused by my sin. Ultimately, I would have been robbed of a life changing paradigm shift that broke my habit of running away and hiding and gave me my first authentic experience of perseverance.

Working through my recovery was very painful. My marriage was in utter turmoil and my life was a complete wreck, but as I confronted each painful situation, I built up perseverance and I began to have hope. Where before I had nothing to fall back on when presented with a difficult situation, I now had the previous encounters where I persevered to remind me that I would make it through. It did not happen overnight and I could not have done it on my own, but eventually my default switched from avoiding to engaging adversity and a fundamental change in my character had been produced.

When I prayed for healing, what I was asking God for was to “make me better” in secret, to give me healing my way, on my terms, without suffering any consequences. God did not answer my prayer the way I asked because He was requiring me to do the very thing I did not want to do, bring my addiction into the light, suffer the consequences, and allow Him to produce perseverance, character, and hope. God was not going to give me perseverance without suffering, because He loves me and He wanted me to grow, mature, and learn to rely on Him in my pain.

The very next verse, Romans 5:5 (NIV) says, “And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.” If you are seeking The Lord, but continue to struggle with addiction, I encourage you to consider if the Holy Spirit is calling you to respond to God’s love by taking the very painful and very difficult step of telling the truth about your secret and reaching out for help. The Lord does not want us to stay stuck; however, we must use the tools He gives us, all of them, even the ones that make us deeply uncomfortable or even cause us to suffer. If you feel God is moving you toward taking the first step to building perseverance, character, and hope, I invite you to connect with me because there is hope! I would love the opportunity to hear from you and discuss how my recovery process might be able to help you on your journey to freedom.