Surrender: You Have No Real Power

In the first installment of the film version of the hit Broadway musical Wicked, the two main characters wrap up the movie by going to meet The Wonderful Wizard of Oz. During their encounter with The Wizard, they learn he does not possess the ability to do magic and, in fact, everything he does that appears wonderful and magical is actually an illusion of trickery. Upon figuring this out, one of the characters exclaims, “you have no real power!” The Wizard coyly agrees and admits to his ruse. He explains that is why he needs help from someone who really can do magic because he is, “just an old carney.” The Wizard understands that his sleight of hand and smoke and mirrors fantasy will ultimately crumble when tested against the scrutiny of reality.

While there is no spell or incantation that can magically make the very real struggles of life disappear, there is life-changing freedom in admitting we do not have any real power. Individuals fighting their battle with sex addiction or pornography addiction will often become frustrated, disillusioned, and depressed because everything they try to do on their own to break their chains fails. Using content filtering software, installing accountability applications, reading book after book after book, and spending countless hours bargaining with God to take away their affliction, nothing works when trying to do it alone. It is only when we stop “trying,” get down on our knees, and say to God “I am powerless,” that transformation can begin.

For most men, the thought of saying these words feels humiliating; however, finally admitting “I have no real power” and completely surrendering the fight is the very instant freedom begins. During the recovery journey, surrender is not “one and done.” It is a daily, hourly, or sometimes moment by moment decision to turn it all over and stop the exhausting cycle of addiction. Total surrender is a step many men refuse to take. It requires outright humility and an absolute commitment to telling the truth about what they have been up to in the shadows. Regardless of how impossible it may seem, this is the only way to begin the path to lifelong change.

Admitting your powerlessness is a monumental and brave first step, but it is just the first step. You cannot stop there. You must reach out and become involved with an authentic and rigorously honest recovery community because surrender in isolation does not work. In the days, weeks, months, and years to follow, you will need the support of other men in recovery and one-on-one sessions with a recovery coach to help you work through and understand how you became addicted, what kept you stuck, and learn the necessary tools to stay free for life. As you take each next step, leaning into your powerlessness and surrendering fully to God will empower you to keep moving forward. Along the way, the men in your recovery group will be there to remind you of the truth and give you encouragement in your darkest days. You are not alone and you do not have to keep trying to fight alone. I encourage you to reach out today and schedule a free consultation with me. You can share your story and I can explain my recovery approach and you can then decide if my recovery program based on rigorous honesty and authentic community is right for you.