Why is Sobriety Important?

I was sharing my recovery story with a group leader at my church and I mentioned my sobriety date. He was surprised and stopped me and asked what I meant by “sobriety;” stating he had never heard freedom from sexual addiction explained in terms of “sober” or “not sober.” I explained what being sober means and he stopped me again, exclaiming he had never heard such a black and white, clear cut definition of what it means to be free from sexual addiction. He commented, “that really makes it pretty simple.”

His reaction stuck with me because it highlighted that in the absence of a concise definition of sobriety, many people are struggling with sexual addiction without establishing a real starting point for recovery. If recovery is a process defined by a number of “steps,” sobriety is step number one. The definition is important because temptation and the road to relapse are paved with ambiguity and confusion. It is easy to justify taking the next step back into darkness when there is not a well marked map pointing the way back to the light. The framework of sobriety “do not engage in acting out behavior(s), do not seek out any alluring material” is consistent in every journey, though what the behaviors are may vary individually.

You may wonder then, why is sobriety step number one and why is it so important? Simply put, being sober is where healing begins. When steeped in addiction, the brain is abused by being flooded with dopamine and other neurochemicals in ways it was never designed to handle. It is only by stopping the abuse of the brain, that it can heal, we can become lucid, and we can see ourselves honestly. Many men have never seen themselves clearly because their addiction started at a very early age. They do not know who they are, they feel numb to most emotions (except maybe anger), and they cannot perceive the damage their addiction has caused. Once the fog in the brain has lifted, we can then start to understand what led us down the path of addiction, how we became stuck, what we need to address to become unstuck, and how we can stay free for life.

Being in a good group, with others who struggle with sexual addiction, is a vital support for becoming sober. Working one-on-one with a recovery coach is crucial to help gain understanding of past patterns, identify current barriers, and learn tools that will keep you sober. Lifelong sobriety is next to impossible in isolation. If you are reading this and recognize yourself in these words, know that you do not have to take “step one” alone. If you are ready to begin your journey to freedom, healing, and joy, I invite you to schedule a free consultation to determine if my recovery process is right for you.